August
When You Lose Your Child…
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August
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johnbohlinger
- The hours
- “Life goes on” August’s tattoo.
- August Bohlinger’s obituary
- If we feel anything
- Temporary
- EASTER
- Reassessing the Grief Game Plan for the Holidays It’s A Wonderful Life
- Dave Brubeck at 89
- Such Small Portions
- “He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.” Elbert Hubbard.
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August
Eileen Hogg on About John Bohlinger Kate G. on Living with Losing your c… johnbohlinger on Reassessing the Grief Game Pla… Ellie on Reassessing the Grief Game Pla… johnbohlinger on About John Bohlinger Kassi on About John Bohlinger Lisa Marie on About John Bohlinger rushchick on The hours johnbohlinger on The hours Roxanne Lee on The hours j boh on The hours Maritta on The hours johnbohlinger on “Life goes on” Aug… rushchick on “Life goes on” Aug… johnbohlinger on Temporary
Strange is life…I just wrote to my sister telling her that I feel as if though I am sleepwalking through this life. I am very alert but at the same time in a world I do not recognize. Everything appears the same but is radically and forever changed. This is what I wrote on this day that would have been your precious August’s birthday and strangely was the day of my precious daughter’s death. How is life to be understood, assimilated, processed, given value to, rejoiced with such pain? My sister who I rarely give my pain to, trying to protect her from who I really have become. John your thoughts are my thoughts are your thoughts and yet are lives are different. The impermanence of life say the buddhists is how we should understand life. I am in an altered state. One where I do not live but only exist.
John hang on…maybe the winds will change and we will find our wings to fly over and above the dismal existence we try to contend with daily. I am in a beautiful place today called Naramata so am feeling ok. But I will never have joy. Is it too much to expect? I will try to connect with her spirit. It is all I can do.
Take care…. xo
I have been in this realm for going on 8 months now. My son took his own life at the age of 21. I don’t ever see a chance at happiness again. I feel like my heart died with my son. I have no desire to do or feel anything. Thinking of suicide on a daily bases now myself. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is my other children and husband. I know without a doubt that I love them but I’m having a hard time feeling it because my heart feels like it’s gone. This makes things even worse for me. I can’t understand why my love for them isn’t felt inside me like it use to be. That’s also scary because my love and concern for them is what’s keeping me here. I actually feel like I have to suffer so they will be ok. I can’t figure this all out and I’m so tired
Grace, I’m sorry for you loss. God bless you and your family. It sounds like depression has a hold on you; everybody in the terrible club of ours fights it every day. It can get better. Now my battles with depression are less frequent and don’t last nearly as long. I’ll have a terrible thought and I have to push it out of my mind, and it can happen in the middle of a happy day. These bouts use to last for months. Try to be good to yourself, get sleep, work out, walk out side during good weather, watch funny movies; all of these things, not matter how stupid they seem, will help.
God bless you Grace
Bad , Bad week for me…..I just don’t understand. Oldest daughter went to homecoming, Lizzy should have been tagging along with her since she would have been in high school now. I know a trigger. Was doing ok, but then this. I just want to be alone when I feel this way….like you John, the depression episodes are less frequent, but it is when major milestones hit that I take that one step forward, one step back motion. Hope you are well John.
Those emotional triggers can really send you off in an emotional tail spin. I don’t think we ever will be free from those. But it does get a little better bit by bit, two steps forward, one back. Be extra good to yourself, give yourself some time. God bless you.