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When have you done enough as a Parent? July 9, 2009

Posted by johnbohlinger in Death of your child, Grieving Parents.
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Homer J Simpson: A role model for the Modern Father

Homer J Simpson: A role model for the Modern Father

When have you done enough as a Parent?

I’ve always felt you make your own luck. You do all you can to improve a situation, if it goes bad you will feel comforted by the fact that you did all you could to make it right. When it looked like Nashville Star, the tv show that had been my main source of income for years, was going to be cancelled, I immediately made a preemptive strike, called my friend Aaron Barnhart, the television critic and asked if he would use his great big, powerful brain for good instead of evil and compile stats on our rating in comparison to our advertising budget by which we could compare our performance to other shows. I called and emailed the shows producers the positive stats, I worked it hard on the tour to promote our next season, I told everybody we would be back soon, stayed optimistic in interviews, scouted good talent and it worked; we got another season. Even if it hadn’t, I would have felt good knowing I went down swinging.

That’s the thing about parenting, do you ever really do all you can do? Where do you draw the line between being protective and insanely smothering? Do you let your child take calculated risk in life or do you act like the overprotective parents who raise their children to become adults who are crippled with fear and incapable of making decisions or, even worse rebellious adolescents with a propensity for high risk behavior?

All of these questions become a mute point after you lose your child, but it’s nearly impossible to stop asking yourself if you did all you can. The truth of the matter is that people do everything right and still things go horribly wrong. At times life seems a bit like a Greek Tragedy. Oedipus’ father received an oracle warning him that his son would kill him and sleep with his mother. The father took drastic measures to prevent this from happening and yet these drastic measure were the very steps needed to make the oracle come true. Man preposes and God disposes. I guess as parents we just do all we can do to raise our children right, keep them save and give them the tools to make good decisions and then try to let go. Letting go can be even more difficult once they are gone.

Comments»

1. Robin - July 9, 2009

You probably have done what it was at your hand to do for your child. Human freedom, related to human condition, do the rest. You simply cannot prevent your child from suffering. Do not suffer yourself with that punishment. Your pain is my pain.

2. johnbohlinger - September 30, 2009

My son and I were big Simpsons Fans. We watched them religiously together, laughing maniacally through many episodes. I included Homeboy’s photo for August’s benefit. This close up head shot would have made Aug giggle.


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