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Work unfinished July 9, 2009

Posted by johnbohlinger in Dealing with Grief after Losing your child..
August and me, mid pumpkin carve

August and me, mid pumpkin carve

Greed:  Everyone strives to be financially successful because they know no other way to measure self-worth.  It’s easier to count than think.”
quote from August’s notebook.

I’ve worked in the arts my entire life, as a musician, writer, editor, producer; I can honestly say that my son August was one of the most genuinely original thinkers I’ve met.  When I compare my work to my son’s work, it’s apparent that he was the truly creative one between us.  When I read his musings that fill his notebooks and scraps of paper in his car or find the imaginative drawings intricately covering the back of a torn envelope placed between the pages of a book he was reading,  I marvel at the way his mind worked. He had this almost obsessive fire in to create, paint, film, write, play music, cook, make movies,  he was always creating something but left with so few things finished.  I feel like the world was cheated out of what August could have contributed.  I had all these goals and aspirations but once I become parent my main goal shifted to raising this next generation which seem so much smarter and more capable then my generation.   Your children literally are the future;  what do you do when that future is gone?   When you lose your child, not only is your child’s work left perpetually unfinished but so is our life’s work of raising this child.   That loss makes everything seem petty and inconsequential.

Where do you find a new purpose for life?



1. maria estrella - July 9, 2009

You have to go back to the times when you were not a father. Maybe they are still there waiting for you; now that you have learned from your own child.

2. maria estrella - July 9, 2009

Oh, John! What stupid thing to say. Like if that was possible…sorry.

3. elvira - July 10, 2009

Quizás en el mismo lugar en el que murió tu hijo: trabajando para procurar que otros jóvenes inteligentes y vreativos como August, no den el mal paso de las drogas. Suena voluntarioso y hasta vulgar. Parece un anuncio de TV, pero tú sabes mejor que nadie que es una tarea propia de Hércules, más cerca casi de los dioses.

4. elvira - July 10, 2009


5. mt - October 2, 2009

i love August’s quote. Brilliant.

6. me - December 11, 2009

John, I keep coming back to this picture. I love to see that the oak table was put to such great use and happy moments!
I look back to those years and feel nostalgic… My booth at the ‘White Way Antique Mall’ and the nice Caroline.

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